maybe noone likes me, maybe im a coward, i kno ill never survive :(

my first short story based off a true event.. tell me how it was and if you can help me in anyway possible you can do so. truly appreciated!!

12:20 out with the unorthodox full moon right above me, walking over to the park with these unbearable thoughts of dread and sorrow heading to the swings, as i sit on the swings something didn't feel right its exceedingly cold outside and I'm sitting in my cold sweat, i looked over and the swing was moving by its self, which was utterly strange considering i couldn't feel a breeze to save my life. at first i grew fond of being in someone else s presence but then it hit me i had this hideous disturbing feeling which grew unbearable, I had to leave. Now as i get off the swing and am walking down the street i kept having this explainable feeling someone is watching and or following me, I look back not anything in sight. I'm walking back with this uneasy and restless feeling until i make it back inside. I still wonder who was in my presence, it felt like it was a girl between the age of 11-16 it seemed very playful, just another unguided and lost spirit like me but she had much more pain then i had ever imagined.. Who Was This?

my death would just be a joke to society. only my babe understands me and sometimes i feel like i confuse the shit out of her to... the thought of life is something i dread but being there and with her keeps me going day by day. but sometimes i feel the world would be better without me. I'm literally in physical and emotional pain and don't know how much more i can take. call me lame or a failure, but i hate society so much with a passion from what people have done to me (then they label me with SAD)because people scare the shit outta me and i cant even do a daily task without feeling on the edge. i don't know if anyone has ever felt the pain that hits me every day i wake. I've done so absurd shit to people and it makes me feel even more non worthy of living. why live when life only really shows its self as horrible and tormenting. i look at the news every day.. someone else die why couldn't it have been me. i guess there is some kind of purpose to my life i feel it could be embracing and making the most of my love but other then that i really don't see any purpose at all. I'm just stuck waking each day feeling numb to life..

razors cut deep but not enough

sitting all alone and in the corner in the dark and wishing i could cuddle with my ♥ :(

i try so hard but it never seems to be enough :(

i know some people say move and get over it but its hard when you do the most damage :(